


Frostbyte Freeman's Escape from the North Pole

by agentfancypants



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Elf, Escape, Gen, North Pole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27874314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentfancypants/pseuds/agentfancypants
Summary: This is the story of how Frostbyte Freeman escaped the north pole. His hatred for Christmas runs deeper than anyone would expect.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 3





	Frostbyte Freeman's Escape from the North Pole

_The Plan:  
_

_1\. Screwdriver - acquired_

_2\. Paint_

_3\. Ice- done_

_4\. Roof_

_5\. Shoes- placed_

_6\. Rope- placed_

_7\. Hook_

_8\. Coat - placed_

_9\. Swing_

_10\. Run_

_11\. ???_

_12\. Profit_

Frost took a long look at his list one last time before hiding it and walking out of the light shop. He nodded, smile perfectly bright and forced as ever, to the guard posted at the door, and carried on. Everything was in place- all that remained now was to set it into motion at the right moment. He glanced up to the clock tower and at the sun- the sun wouldn’t go down much more, and he needed as much darkness as he could manage. So- it was time. Just act natural and move at the right moment, and everything would work out according to plan. Because his plan was perfect. He’d analyzed and checked and rechecked every eventuality, and this would work this time. It was with that confidence that Frost pulled a screwdriver out of his pocket and unscrewed two corners of the hinge to the biggest vat of red paint in the workshop. Now the time started counting down.

Precisely two minutes later, the workshop descended into chaos. When the massive vat of paint tilted to pour again, one side of it started to bend and then broke with a groan, falling to the ground as elves scattered before the oncoming tide of poinsettia red. Nobody noticed one elf slip out the side door. The nearest guard bear galloped up to the door of the workshop and suddenly skidded across a sheet of oddly smooth ice from pure water poured precisely two and a half hours earlier. The building shook slightly as the bulk of the polar bear slammed into the wall, and the screaming only got louder. Frost watched two other guards run over and nodded to himself while he ran to the candy cane workshop and clambered up the decorative finials to the roof. He ran a ways along the roof and knelt to pull up a loose shingle, glancing over his shoulder worriedly just in time to flatten against the roof and stay out of sight of another guard who appeared to be searching for troublemakers. As the local troublemaker, Frost held his breath until she had passed without incident before he dug out a slightly less stupid pair of shoes than the pointed-toed green ones with bells he wore at the moment. The chaos was dying down slightly, so he needed to be a bit more silent as he pulled the rope of light wire out and hid his old shoes before running along the roof again. The big ornament hooks hanging on the outside of the wall of the stables next to the tree were his next target. He watched the guards… oh. Oh no. The guard he’d banked on distracting with a mug of hot chocolate was looking around- the chaos in the paint shop had put everyone on higher alert than before. Frost frowned and narrowed his eyes… what to do now?

There didn’t seem to be much of anything for it. Frost just jumped for the roof of the stables—and, predictably, slipped, crashing to his knees and scrabbling for a grip on the tiles. The guard looked up and ran toward him- and Frost tried to run along the roof the other direction. He let out a grunt of frustration as he heard the guard shout and point.

The next two minutes were a flurry of desperate activity for Frost as he grabs an ornament hook and runs along the roof again, tying the rope lights to the loop of the hook as the guards panic and try to organize. Once he grabbed the blue coat he’d artfully concealed on a coat rack, it only took a quick shove of the massive snow globe at the top of the entrance building to cast the guards into enough chaos again. It’s enough for him to focus on throwing the hook onto one of the tall candy cane shaped towers in the outer wall and swing across the wall. A few exhilarating and terrifying moments later, he was rolling and coughing in the snow, shaking his hair out of his face and struggling to stand again.. His mind was onto the next problem- getting away from here as he shivered and wrapped his slightly too large coat around himself. The sun was as far under the horizon as it was going to get today, and he had to get as far from the Pole as he could before the next sunup. It wasn’t until he stopped, many hours of trudging through snow later, to build a shelter that he had a moment to just let himself calm down for a moment. Despite the frostbite in his toes and the bitter cold seeping through his jacket, his smile was smaller and more sincere than it had been in his life.

He’d done it. He was a free man.

**Author's Note:**

> This was probably a joke but I took it and ran with it. It's the first fic I've ever posted and I don't think I regret it yet. 
> 
> That said, please do forgive me.


End file.
